When children are older and have a better sense of what is happening it is still imporatant that ritual comes in to help them feel safe and loved no matter what is happening. The below ceremony is a solid way to do that.
SAND “we are a family no matter what”.
You will need colored sand and a few glass jars with lids – and any decoration that you would like to add…
1) Pick a colored sand to represent each family member.
2) Find a sweet place to gather together as a family – a backyard area – living room, kitchen – a place you can all feel safe and relaxed.
3) Start by stating the intention for gathering. The “why” and “what” you hope this SAND ceremony will bring in for everyone.
Example from a Mothers perspective: We are moving on new ground and we may feel unbalanced and uneasy at times. I am scared and worried about missing you when you are at your Dad’s house. I am worried you won’t feel safe here without him. I am sure about the divorce but scared about the effects on everyone. My hope is that this ceremony will allow all of us to see in physical form that although we are in the midst of change we are still and always will be connected….
4) Give each person a chance to share what is currently on their mind and what they hope to let go of or move into after doing the ceremony. As they speak pour the colored sand they have chosen into the glass jars. Each family member takes a turn doing this.
5) When all of the jars are full and all feel complete with sharing – seal the jars and decorate if you so desire.
This glass container is now a representation of the new family form and the sand changes over time as the family does and is is a solid symbol for how even in the change “we are a family no matter what”.